Set Your House on Fire Egg Sandwich.

"Did you fart?" my brother asked.

No.

"Something smells funny" he insists.

Probably the neighbors or some foreign workers cooking their people's food. 

We then proceeded with our impromptu karaoke session in my room with too loud music and bad dance moves.

Pictured: The victims of the disaster: Eight unborn chicken fetuses. 

"Is that smoke?", he gestured at the thick columns billowing pass my window. 

Probably the mosquito people fogging. 

"Cece. Something is burning."

DO put cucumbers in your egg sandwich. DON'T set your house on fire.

I had forgotten that I have set some eggs to boil to make an egg sandwich. 

Two hours ago.

I came down to a kitchen filled with smoke. Choking and sputtering, I heroically rescued my doggie (whom I will train from this day forth to bark at the smell of smoke after she learns "don't hump pillow" and "don't eat hair")

The crime scene was horrifying. Not for the faint hearted.

There were eggs everywhere. The lid of my pot flew off, so there were eggs on the ceiling, on my windows, all over the floor.

My pot was so black it could've made it to the NBA.

You will need salt, pepper, not -fake mayonnaise and possibly a fire extinguisher. 

My parents came home to a house full of smoke and asked me if I was trying to commit suicide. 

They find that easier to believe over, "I was trying to make a sandwich"

The key to really good egg sandwiches is too much cholesterol egg yolks. Don't be shy with the mayonnaise either.

Season well, with pepper and salt. Sometimes when I feel the fancy, I put in herbs like parsley. 

You should have a beautiful golden-hued mixture that you would eat by the spoonfuls. 

Also, use a serrated knife when you cut your sandwiches so that they do not get squished. 

Yes, that is how is the amount of filling I put into my sandwiches.

That is how much filling YOU should put in your sandwiches too.

I hope you make some awesome egg sandwiches soon. 

Minus the drama.

For record purposes, if you intend on dating me, I apologize in advance that you will have to make your own sandwiches.

I am sorry.